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A heartbreaking story about childhood trauma

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I used to have a crush on this guy. He was my first crush. We stayed close, we were in the same circle. He got close to me, came by the house often, in-fact he was like approved by my family. Though we were young and knew our limits and our parents trusted this guy to know his limits as well. I was in JHS 3 and I think he was in SHS then.
He was like a perfect gentleman to me and even though he did stuff that I knew were meant to hurt me , all I did was try to adjust myself to suit him.

Anyone that knows me know that I have chubby cheeks (which already I was teased with enough in primary school so I was already battling that insecurity. )
Again I have quite a “serious” personality, anyone that knows me knows that I am usually the funniest in my group, but untill I open my mouth to speak, I probably would always appear unapproachable or “unfriendly”

This guy made it worse for me…

  1. One time I was just sitting down, at a program, trying to get myself right before the program starts (this time I think I was in the senior high schools or after BECE ). He came to me and asked why don’t I like smiling?. Before I could issue a smile he said don’t bother, your smile is ugly. I know he meant it . Imagine you first crush , saying that to you.

That made it worse for me , and from then onwards, I always laughed with my over on my mouth. I never take pictures showing my teeth (till date hardly ). He traumatized me and I never got over it .
Still, I didn’t hold it against him, I felt (it’s my fault I didn’t have a good smile else he wouldn’t have said that to me ). I blamed myself.

Many years passed, one day I visited him. He was in school. I was in the uni too. He had a female friend around (who was his best friend’s girlfriend) for no reason he traumatized me again.

For no reason, He looked at this lady, and looked at me and compared us, He said let me see your faces and then he concluded that , she was more beautiful than me . The lady even felt embarrassed with that statement he made.
I smiled it off. While hurting deep down.
I felt , maybe (I can’t believe I just cried while typing this ). Maybe if my cheeks were not so big and my smile ugly I would have been pretty too and maybe he would have dated me . (Once again I blamed myself ).

Meanwhile, all this years, I have had complements. The young, old, family, friends, strangers who met me would probably leave a compliment expressing how beautiful I was . All this didn’t matter anymore because the boy I fell inlove with called me ugly . And that’s all that rang in my head.
Many years down, we never dated, but we were good friends, many times I wanted to bring this up and ask him why he ever thought that was right to say or do to me?, but I didn’t want to ruin what was left of us and he has no idea how I felt/feel. In fact I will share this on my page. I know, He will see it . If he remembers that is fine , if he doesn’t (I have forgiven him already), I never blamed him anyways .

All the times that we had programs that he tried to be playful with other girls so I could be hurt, All they saw was a friendly boy but I knew he was doing it to get to me also.
Not to Say that he’s a bad person, this is a very nice boy -man now. He is a good person and I don’t want to hold past mistakes or childhood traumas against the person he is now.
But if I ever shared this with anyone, would they believe me ?. Why would I even do that?, why would I want anyone else to start judging my smile and looks?. I kept it ….and grew up with insecurities.

Not anymore though. I am so confident and I love myself now. Some People see you loving yourself and they consider you proud or worldly….they have no idea what it took me to get here. I am intentional about people in my space now and I do not take a lot of things too deep. If anyone ever calls me ugly now , ain’t no way I will take that personal.

  1. I am beautiful and unique
  2. I was created by God who makes no mistakes
  3. There are people who love me just like this anyone else who doesn’t is not for me
  4. Who are you in my life to think you have such a strong Opinion about my looks ?.
  5. My looks has never hindered me from success if for anything it has opened more doors for me.

Need I say many years down the road, He wouldn’t stop talking about how beautiful I am. Till today. He’s one of the first to comment on my status and at even a point in time I felt he wanted to date me . The signs were clear (or maybe it was another of him trying to see if he’s still relevant moves ) but I didn’t even budge. I can never imagine waking up beside somone who ever thought me ugly (even it it’s for a joke.)

I remember last year, when I wanted to get my teeth fixed, and the bill was about a GH100,000 plus. I was so determined, because though I have outgrown the insecurity, I have not totally gotten over it . I somehow yearn for “perfect teeth now”.

My little brother who accompanied me to the dental clinic (he thought I was getting a normal dental check), reminded me that my priority at the time was to get a car and not spend so much on “new teeth”. According to him , I didn’t even need to get dentures because I was perfect (but that is my brother’s opinion , He’s supposed to love me no matter what itsnt it ).

I took his advice though, and saved some extra to buy a car.
(Which turned out to be a good advice because anytime I am sitting in and enjoying a drive, I do not remember that someone ever called my smile ugly -praise God). I have shifted the “dentures” thought for later.

I have climbed stages of rooms filled with people , I have stood in-front of hundreds of people and delivered speeches , I am also aware of the great opportunities I have shied away because I didn’t feel confident enough.

Will I get my teeth done in the future, maybe . Will I be hiding under a duvet untill then?, No, I will be out doing great things , showing off and loving myself all the way.

Some how too, that experience was one of the things that birthed my ministry. My ministry of loving other people just as they are. I am not perfect I can insult people and talk about them but to ever judge their looks will never be me . Unless you really really give me a cause to (say you constantly do it to others then I will try to give you a dose of your own medicine to taste).

I do not joke with complimenting other people. Be it your hair, clothes, makeup, shoes, speech, look…. I know how it feels to be told a kind word especially about your personality/looks.

Even when driving at times, I roll down to compliment people by the road.

I do not joke with complimenting kids especially. I tell children you are so beautiful and smart, I love your dress, aww your smile is so beautiful. Woow is that your handwriting?, it’s so beautiful….because I know that building self confidence starts from an early stage and if one looses it , it will affect their adult lives too and lead them to try to adjust their looks by either bleaching, wearing make-up 24/7, going for bbl, falling into wrong hands because of feeling belonged and not exploit their gifting s because they won’t want to be seen.

I am sure many men and women have stories to share, the important thing is the lessons we learn from this experiences so that we ourselves and the people around us will not be victims to such.

I am happy you shared, I am glad you are in a good place now sis.
All I see is a beautiful, determined, successful Sister and May you keep rising .

Thank God that we didn’t break along the way (there are people who never recover fully from some experiences).

We did , and we own your story. And it will only get better and better from here ❤️❤️❤️

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Urgent need for formalisation of Pastoral group

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 We find ourselves in a country where respect for the clergy is part of our culture. Religious leaders are therefore held in high es­teem. This has led to a situa­tion where certain unscrupulous people, people I refer to as criminally minded, take advan­tage of this almost unreserved obedience to the clergy, to exploit innocent Christians and society at large.

Recent happenings is giving credence to the call for formal­isation of the clergy or the pas­toral practitioners. Incidents of clear manipulation of church members to give out offerings, is becoming a serious societal issue.

We hear of reports of Pastors or so called Prophets indulging in all manner of unscrupulous and disgusting behaviour that brings the name of God into disrepute and makes Christiani­ty unattractive.

Thank God there are still some men of conscience in the clergy fraternity, who have tak­en it upon themselves to right the wrong, by opening the eyes of the public to what is right and what is wrong as far as Christianity and the scriptures are concerned.

This has brought about an av­alanche of attacks on one such leading Pastor of conscience in my beloved country called Ghana. He boldly pointed out the falsehood being perpe­trated by some pastors either ignorantly or deliberately to draw attention to themselves as some highly anointed and men or women, instead of focusing their members attention on Jesus, the real deal, author and finisher of our faith as Chris­tians, according to Hebrews 12:2.

These self-seeking Pastors espouses doctrines which has no basis in the Bible. This man, who is a General Overseer of one of the leading Charismatic churches, is enlightening the mind of believers that, there is no power in a pulpit or an altar and that teachings calling on believers to trust in such things are not Biblical.

He further went on in videos gone viral that statements like “I tap into the anointing of Pas­tor…”, “by the grace upon this house”, “by the grace on this altar”, are all false teachings and ignorant declarations.

These teachings of his, have drawn the ire of the Pastors who are benefiting from these erroneous teachings and as you can imagine, have started criticising him but the funny thing is that those who are crit­icising him are not basing their criticism on the Bible and some of them even have credibility issues, on top of it all.

The cause of their anger obviously is that, such teachings will deprive them of the control they have over their members, when they become enlightened. In other words it will spoil their business because they are clearly in the Pastoral fraternity for selfish reasons, basically pride and desire to accumulate wealth.

This man of God who is under attack from some of the clergy said, when a person wants to be a Doctor, he goes to med­ical school, a Pilot goes to an aviation school, a teacher goes to a training college, a Lawyer goes to Law school, an Engineer goes to an engineering school but when it comes to the Pas­tor, someone who is supposed to shape the moral character of society, then we say he does not need any training.

This clearly does not make sense and that is why I agree with the call for formalisation of the clergy so they appreciate the need for them to become examples of moral uprightness just like Jesus that they profess to follow.

Your Pastor or Prophet or whatever Bishop ends his prayer in the name of Jesus and not in his own name, so he can never be equal to Jesus, so please wise up. God bless.

NB: ‘CHANGE KOTOKA INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT TO KOFI BAAKO INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT’

By Laud Kissi-Mensah

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Toothache: Understanding the causes, symptoms, and treatment options

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A toothache is a painful sensation in or around a tooth, which can be caused by a variety of factors.

It is a common dental emer­gency that can affect anyone, regardless of age or oral health.

Toothaches can range from mild to severe and can be ac­companied by other symptoms such as swelling, sensitivity, and difficulty chewing.

Causes of toothache

There are several causes of toothache, including:

1. Tooth decay: Tooth decay is the most common cause of toothache. It occurs when bacteria in the mouth break down the enamel of the tooth, creating a cavity.

2. Gum disease: Gum dis­ease, also known as periodontal disease, can cause toothache. It occurs when bacteria in the mouth infect the gums, causing inflammation and pain.

3. Cracked tooth: A cracked tooth can cause toothache. This can occur due to biting or chewing on something hard, or due to a blow to the mouth.

4. Dental abscess: A dental abscess is a pocket of pus that forms in the gum tissue. It can cause severe toothache and swelling.

5. Grinding or clenching: Grinding or clenching the teeth can cause toothache. This can occur due to stress, anxiety, or a misaligned bite.

6. Loose or broken filling: A loose or broken filling can cause toothache. This can occur due to wear and tear, or due to a blow to the mouth.

Symptoms of toothache

The symptoms of tooth­ache can vary depending on the cause and severity of the condition. Common symptoms include:

1. Pain: A sharp, stabbing, or dull ache in the tooth or surrounding gum tissue.

2. Sensitivity: Sensitivity to hot or cold temperatures, sweet or sour tastes, or pres­sure.

3. Swelling: Swelling of the gum tissue or face.

4. Difficulty chewing: Diffi­culty chewing or biting due to pain or discomfort.

5. Bad breath: Bad breath or a bad taste in the mouth.

Diagnosis of Toothache

Diagnosing toothache typical­ly involves a combination of:

1. Visual examination: A visual examination of the tooth and surrounding gum tissue.

2. X-rays: X-rays may be tak­en to check for signs of tooth decay, abscesses, or other problems.

3. Percussion test: A per­cussion test, which involves tapping on the tooth to check for sensitivity.

Treatment options for tooth­ache

The treatment options for toothache depend on the cause and severity of the condition. Common treatment options include:

1. Fillings: Fillings may be used to repair a tooth that has been damaged by decay or trauma.

2. Extractions: In some cases, a tooth may need to be extracted due to severe decay or damage.

3. Root canals: Root canals may be performed to remove infected pulp from the tooth.

4. Crown or bridge: A crown or bridge may be used to repair a damaged tooth or replace a missing tooth.

5. Pain relief: Pain relief medication, such as ibuprofen or acetaminophen, may be prescribed to manage pain and discomfort.

Home remedies for tooth­ache

There are several home rem­edies that can help to alleviate toothache, including:

1. Cold compress: Applying a cold compress to the affected area can help to reduce pain and swelling.

2. Salt water rinse: Rinsing the mouth with warm salt wa­ter can help to reduce pain and inflammation.

3. Cloves: Applying a clove to the affected tooth can help to numb the area and reduce pain.

4. Over-the-counter pain relief: Taking over-the-counter pain relief medication, such as ibuprofen or acetaminophen, can help to manage pain and discomfort.

Prevention of toothache

Preventing toothache involves maintaining good oral hygiene habits, including:

1. Brushing and flossing: Brushing and flossing regularly to remove plaque and bacteria from the teeth.

2. Regular dental check-ups: Regular dental check-ups can help to identify and treat oral health problems early on.

3. Avoiding sugary and acidic foods: Avoiding sugary and acidic foods and drinks can help to reduce the risk of tooth decay and erosion.

4. Wearing a mouth guard: Wearing a mouthguard can help to protect the teeth from injury during sports or other activi­ties.

Conclusion

Toothache is a common dental emergency that can be caused by a variety of factors.

Understanding the causes, symptoms, and treatment options for toothache can help individuals to seek prompt treatment and alleviate pain and discomfort.

By maintaining good oral hy­giene habits and avoiding sug­ary and acidic foods and drinks, individuals can reduce their risk of developing toothache.

By Robert Ekow Grimmond-Thompson

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World Kidney Day: Theme: Early detection for a healthier future

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Wednes­day, March 13, 2025, marks World Kidney Day, an annual event aimed at raising awareness about the importance of kidney health and reducing the impact of kidney diseases world­wide. This year’s theme, “Early Detection for a Healthier Future!”, emphasizes the significance of early identification and manage­ment of kidney diseases to prevent complications and ensure long-term health.

Functions of the kidneys

The kidneys are vital organs re­sponsible for several critical bodily functions:

Waste Excretion: They filter waste products and excess fluids from the blood, excreting them as urine.

Fluid and Electrolyte Balance: They regulate the body’s fluid levels and maintain the balance of electrolytes such as sodium, potas­sium, and phosphate.

Blood Pressure Regulation: They produce hormones like renin that help control blood pressure.

Red Blood Cell Production: They release erythropoietin, a hor­mone that stimulates the produc­tion of red blood cells.

Bone Health: They activate vitamin D, which is essential for maintaining healthy bones. Vitamin D from the sun cannot be useful if not activated by the kidney.

Causes of kidney

diseases

Kidney diseases can result from various factors, including:

Diabetes: High blood sugar levels can damage the kidneys over time.

Hypertension: Elevated blood pressure can cause damage to the blood vessels in the kidneys.

Glomerulonephritis: Inflamma­tion of the kidney’s filtering units can impair function.

Polycystic Kidney Disease: A genetic disorder characterized by the growth of cysts in the kidneys.

Repeated Urinary Infections: Chronic infections can lead to kidney damage.

Obstruction: Conditions like kidney stones or an enlarged pros­tate can block urine flow and harm the kidneys.

Other conditions are

#Low birth weight

# Obesity

# Abuse of painkillers

# Aphrodisiac/ bitters

# Some herbal medicine

# Prolonged use of prescrip­tions drugs

Stages of kidney disease

Chronic Kidney Disease (CKD) is categorised into five stages based on the glomerular filtration rate (GFR), which measures kidney function:

Stage 1: Normal or high GFR (≥90 mL/min/1.73 m²) with some signs of kidney damage.

Stage 2: Mild decrease in GFR (60-89 mL/min/1.73 m²) with evidence of kidney damage.

Stage 3: Moderate decrease in GFR (30-59 mL/min/1.73 m²). This stage is often divided into:

3a: GFR 45-59 mL/min/1.73 m².

3b: GFR 30-44 mL/min/1.73 m².

Stage 4: Severe decrease in GFR (15-29 mL/min/1.73 m²).

Stage 5: Kidney failure (GFR <15 mL/min/1.73 m²), often requiring dialysis or a kidney transplant.

Early stages (1 and 2) may not present noticeable symptoms, mak­ing early detection through regular screenings crucial. As the disease progresses to stages 3 through 5, symptoms become more appar­ent, and the risk of complications increases.

Prevention of Kidney

Disease

Preventing kidney disease involves managing risk factors and maintaining a healthy lifestyle:

Control Blood Sugar: Proper management of diabetes can pre­vent kidney damage.

Manage Blood Pressure: Keep­ing blood pressure within the normal range reduces the risk of kidney disease.

Maintain a Healthy Weight: Obe­sity increases the risk of conditions that harm the kidneys.

Avoid Smoking: Smoking can impair blood flow to the kidneys and worsen existing kidney disease.

Stay Hydrated: Adequate water intake supports kidney function. Drink between 2.5L -3.5Litres of water daily.

Limit Over-the-Counter Painkill­ers: Excessive use of NSAIDs can cause kidney damage.

Regular Check-ups: Routine screenings can detect early signs of kidney issues, especially in individ­uals with risk factors.

Healthy Lifestyles Promoting Proper Kidney Function

Adopting certain lifestyle prac­tices can enhance kidney health:

Balanced Diet: Consuming a diet rich in fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean proteins supports overall health and kidney function.

Regular Physical Activity: En­gaging in exercise helps maintain a healthy weight and blood pressure, reducing the risk of kidney disease.

No Alcohol Consumption: Eliminating alcohol intake prevents additional strain on the kidneys.

Stress Management: Chronic stress can negatively affect blood pressure and kidney health; practic­es like meditation can be beneficial.

By understanding the func­tions of the kidneys, recog­nizing the causes and stages of kidney disease, and adopt­ing preventive measures and healthy lifestyles, individuals can significantly reduce their risk of developing kidney-relat­ed health issues.Source—www. worldkidneyday.org/www. verywellhealth.com

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